Endometriosis: a whole-body, whole-life struggle…

• Use empowering language. Remind her (and yourself) that she is not “crazy” or “broken.” Say things like: “I’m proud of how strong you are,” “We’ll figure this out together,” “Your pain is valid.” Sometimes a bit of humor can lighten a heavy moment, a shared laugh (when appropriate) can be a brief break from the pain.

• Stay hopeful and present. Advances are happening. There are fertility treatments (like IVF, egg freezing, surrogacy) if needed, better pain medications, and new surgical techniques. Reassure her that research is active – remind her that no disease stays the same, and medical understanding is growing (for example, being systemic is a new acknowledgment by science).

Finally, remember that you don’t have to “fix” everything. Endo is not anyone’s fault. Your role is to be on her team, to believe, comfort, and help bear the load. Even just sitting by her side silently while she’s hurting can be the most loving thing.

You are NOT crazy!

To any woman reading this: You did nothing to deserve this disease. The pain, the bewilderment, the feeling that your body has betrayed you, all of it is a result of endometriosis, not any weakness or mistake of yours.

Your intuition is precious, if you say “something hurts,” you’re speaking truth.

Medical science now acknowledges what you’ve felt: that severe pain and dysfunction can exist even with “mild” visible disease. You are not imagining things or being dramatic.

Specialists and patient advocates keep pushing for better awareness for exactly this reason. And so do I!

You are also not alone. There are now many research groups, support organizations, and online communities dedicated to endo, beyond my page.

In the U.K., NICE guidelines explicitly warn doctors to trust the patient’s report of pain. There are national foundations and local support groups where women share coping tips, and even e-counseling. Lean on those resources when you’re ready.

Know that partners (husbands, boyfriends, friends) want to help but often lack guidance. Feel free to share this rather long article with them if it would help.

I’m a blogger, I write bigger articles.

Let them know the concrete things that make you feel better. Encourage them to read, ask questions, or come with you to appointments. Seeing you in pain is also painful for them, even if they might react with confusion or anxiety. Many men learn over time, the fact you’re reading this means we care.

We believe you.

Every time you speak about your pain or symptoms, you educate the people around you. You are your own best advocate. If one doctor says “no,” find another. If one treatment fails, another might work.

If you feel unheard, find someone who will listen, there are specialists in complex endometriosis now, including endo centers and multi-disciplinary clinics.

Lastly, for any partner reading: thank you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for caring. Continue to educate yourself and validate what she says. Endometriosis is a shared journey; walking it together lightens the load on both of you.